I clearly needed a new journal!


Ten things I wish I could say to people:

1) This is my girlfriend.

2) I want to move out.

3) If you don't choose to be straight or gay how is it that you think I choose to be bi?

4) I'm sorry for acting like I didn't care when you needed me to but I couldn't handle it.

5) You'll never really be a mother to me again, you lost that right when I had to care for you.

6) Do you only stay with him because you're lonely?

7) Love yourself more, you deserve so much more than you give yourself credit for.

8) I hate you and I wish I never had to speak to you again.

9) There are a special few people that help me get through the day and you are one of them.

10) You're beautiful and nothing will ever make me stop loving you.



Nine things about myself:
1) I analyse everything I do. If I do something stupid I know I did it.
2) I have too many pairs of shoes and I don't care.
3) I don't talk to the vast majority of my family and I'm ok with that.
4) I know more than I let on.
5) I hate people who judge me, some people can get passed it but I never have been able to. I can't be your friend if I know you judge me for things I can't stand.
6) I wish I was still in a choir.
7) My university course confuses the shit out of me.
8) I wish I could teleport.
9) I don't worship god because I don't see the point of worshipping something that may not be real. I live for the now not for what's coming next. On the same token I think it's amazing that people can have faith as I've never been able to. It's just not something I'm capable of.

Eight ways to win my heart:
1) Be bubbly and happy, at least some of the time.
2) Have a sense of humour.
3) Food.
4) Be able to hold down a conversation.
5) Don't judge me.
6) Joke with me.
7) Be honest with me.
8) Hold me.

Seven things that cross my mind a lot:
1) Sex.
2) My own actions.
3) My girlfriend.
4) Tits.
5) Mafia Wars(I'm a sad sad pathetic person).
6) Uni.
7) Why to pretty much everything? Damn glad I'm not a cat, I'd be dead already.

Six things I do before I fall asleep:
1) Go to the toilet, I seriously can't sleep unless I go right before bed(tmi HA!)
2) Say goodnight to you guys
3) Strip.
4) Read.
5) Think way too much for my own damn good.
6) Day dream about random shit.

Five places I want to visit:
1) Colorado
2) Canada
3) All of Europe
4) Tasmania(The only state I've yet to go to)
5) Your mum.

Four things I'm wearing right now:
1) Glasses
2) My uni jumper
3) My girlfriend's ring, on a chain cause it's to big for my finger...
4) Jeans, oh how I love jeans.

Three bands that I listen to often:
1) Lily Allen
2) Katy Perry
3) Disney

Two things I want to do before I die:
1) Come out to my family.
2) Become a genetic counsellor and help people.

One confession:
1) I used to cut myself, I'm not proud of it and luckily never left any scars. Only one other person knows that I ever did it at all. It reminded me I was still alive when I was at a point in my life where I'd shut off a good portion of my emotions and felt empty. I'm not over it, but I don't do it any more.